The idea that everyone likes and buys Pop music
I like the music, but it's the teenage girls and gay men buying all the albums.

Having to defend myself after making a reference to homosexuals
I have no issue with said preference. In fact a gay man wished me a wondrous evening at the coffee store yesterday! I knew his sexual preference not because he mentioned he was gay every 6 seconds, but because of the lisp.

Having to defending myself against a stereotype
Feel pity for me because my attempt at humor did not work. Also, grow a thicker skin.

Anime Eyeballs
Eyes are said to be windows to the soul, and pupils will change size if a person likes/dislikes a person they see. Neither of these statements are justification for the eye-wiggle that is so popular in anime. It's just weird.

Spookiness of Spybreak
I'll be reading or studying or some such in the basement, when I feel a tingling at the back of my neck. I turn to see Spybreak staring at me.
It's really spooky. But he's still a sweet little pork chop.

Serious admins on CounterStrike servers
Quit kicking me off ya monkleys. It's not like I try to shoot my teammaters.
And if I do, well, like I say in game, it's because they deserved it.

09.24.02

Mocha mocha mocha
I admit it, I'm a coffee house fiend.
My favorite coffee house left Ann Arbor a month ago (those places come and go quite quickly, but there's always at least seven of them on campus), and was replaced with a sandwich shop. Luckily, they use the same equipment and the same people work there, so my mochas were still quality.
Until yesterday when they put powder in instead of the chocolate syrup! Powder! I could go to the store and save myself the $3.75 for the grande drink. Plus I don't get that bottom-of-the-cup-all-chocolately sip.
I just hope they run out of syrup that one day. Otherwise I'm hanging out at the Starbucks. They have comfy chairs, but don't play as quality music. Ah well, it's not that I'm very picky-
...I just lost my train of thought when I went to fill up on my Brita filtered water, but you just the jist of my point.

Breakups outside my window
Guy: JUST GET OUT OF MY LIFE...*yada yada yada for the next 10 min*
*Silence for a couple of seconds*
Guy: NO YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU'RE ALWAYS TALKING ALL THE TIME. LISTEN TO ME FOR ONCE! I SAID-
*Me shuts window*

06.05.02

Smilin' Oreos
Oreos with smiley faces on the top. The phrase "Fun shape!" is labled the package.
But they're the same round shape as normal Oreos. Although there's a smiley face raised up on one side. I guess they mean the "fun shape" is the top of the cookie. Either that or all Oreos are the fun circle shape.

Winning money on food
If you spell the word "MONEY" with the Smilin' Oreos - one letter per Oreo (there's a letter instead of a smiley face) - then you win cash! Yay! Thing that sucks about this is that you have to
1) Be lucky enough to find all letters, and
2) CHECK EVERY DAMN COOKIE BEFORE YOU EAT IT.
Eating is not something that should be obnoxious.

The way it should be is having all the Oreos be unhappy faces because hey, you didn't get a letter, and so you're not getting any money.
Of course the whole reason I bought them was because they had happy faces on them and therefore looked cute.
Smiling goldfish are totally different. They're just freaky.

People to like to make fun of the game Morrowind
Are you trying to start trouble? Or are you just stupid?

10.09.01

Writing in still-wet concrete is a crime. So leaving footprints, shoeprints, names, etc. is all good, unless you get caught.
With that in mind, don't write your first and last name in concrete.

9.28.01

New shoes are nice. But I don't like the brightness of new white shoes. So I must dabble in every puddle and muck until they're the proper used shade.

9.23.01

A fun thing to do in an English class: Mention a page number every time you talk. "So...This point is proven on page 23..." And then whole class turns to that page! It's great! I try to do it every time I talk in class.
Can't overdo it though. After a few times the kids just stop going to the pages. It's fun while it lasts.

9.16.01

In old Dracula movies, there's a scene where you see the woman sitting, brushing her chair in the mirror, and you see the vampire creeping up behind her. And the camera turns so that you see her still not noticing anything, but the vampire is now right behind her, but she can't see anything in the mirror.
Why? Because Vampires don't have souls.
So why on earth do you see anything else reflected in the mirror? I didn't think chairs/whatever else is reflected had souls.

7.30.01

I was shopping yesterday when I came across a plastic sombrero in the food section. The rim was used for holding chips, and the pointed center of the hat which could hold cheese or salad slid open when a button was pushed. Two things: The Mexican Hat Dance plays when ever you hit the button, which'll get the song stuck in your head for hours, and secondly, you're only allowed the time it takes for the song to play to get your Velveeta out of the middle of the hat before it closes again. It's almost as bad as the pig cookie container.

Yahoo! mail has a folder in which spam is directed. Doesn't always work, but it's decent. Yahoo! recently sent out a massive email that went to everyone's spam folder. Whoops. I'm thinking that the groups within Yahoo! aren't communicating.

An email:
Subject: Tired of Traditional Church? We're Starting Something NEW, come and Join Us!
You'll have access to 24/7 instant chat time with live counselors. They'll pray with you, talk with you, and help you through needs and problems in your life...Join chat groups that fit your interests: Singles/Divorcees/Defeating Depression and Loneliness/Teens/Seniors/Young Married/ Mom's Club/Single moms/need a job...and many more!
With the exception of "Defeating Depression," it sounds like a regular chat fiesta to me. I hope these techno church people keep a lot of admins in the Teens chat, because that's where the most unholyness is.

7.19.01

I’m surprised this hasn’t been in the news and the company sued. Band-Aids, being a a light pale color, are colored to match the skin, correct? But what if you’re black? Or Latino? Racism!
Quick! Someone file a lawsuit for billions of dollars and CRIMPLE THE COMPANY!!@@!

6.02.01

If the main character in a movie/TV show comes across a group of renegade ninjas, no matter how many, he (or she) will beat them single handed. We need more quality ninjas out in Hollywood.
Then again, sneakiness is a prime factor in ninjas, so perhas the ninjas shown in movies and TV are not very good ones, and that's why they are beaten so easily.

 

Flash animations can be annoying to watch when you're trying to get into a website. Usually there is a "Skip intro" button. I have just seen a Flash animation where the "SKIP INTRO" button slides onto the screen, and a second later it flys off. That's evil.

 

5.19.01

When you see the signs of "I lost 40 lbs in a week! Call now!!" you really can lose 40 pounds in a week...of money! haha! Ohhh the wit!

When I’m the on phone, I expect that you’re at least pretending to be listening to me.  When you start holding a 3-minute conversation with someone else whom just walked into the room, then you drop all pretenses and you’re ranking talking with them more than me.
A little “hullo there” doesn’t bug me. But don’t discuss the finer points of the day while I’m hanging on the other end, eh?  

Spam in my inbox selling me a program that supposedly blocks out spam seems ironic to me.  

If you don't work in college, the worst thing that happens is you fail the class.
If you don't work at a job, the worst things that happens is you get fired, lose income, and therefore can't buy food, can't pay rent, etc.
What we need is a job that uses the college mentality with the letter grade system. Much easier on workers.

HotorNot needs a rule that you have to submit a picture in which you can clearly see the person. A 16x16 pixel  picture won't cut it.  Either will a picture of a person taken 50 yards away.

4.16.01 

In the Pet Store here, there's an ad for "Hairless Guinea Pigs. $50-75"  You have to call beforehand. Oh, and guinea pigs are usually around $16.  You know that they just shave 'em right after you call.  I'm onto their little scheme.

 

4.04.01 

How do they get the butter out of the peanut?

3.30.01 

So I'm eating popcorn and enjoying how buttery and salty it is.  What I want to know is how they get the salt and butter inside in the kernel.  I mean, after it pops, you're tasting the inside of the kernel.  It's just amazing what they do with food these days.  You never would believe where those Kebbler cookies come from.

 

2.22.01

So I was in an English group of 4 people to discuss a poem. wa hoo. Except that the conversation went a little like this:
Person1: I loved this poem! Seriously it's so good-
Person2: Yeah, I'm going to photocopy it and put it on my wall.
Person1: It is really good.
Person2: I think it will be one of my favorites. It's just so moving.
[10 min later]
Person1: I thought that the tone was very sarcastic and ironic-
Person2: I think you're right. Especially this line, the 3rd one.
Person1: I'm going to read the poem again! 
Person2: Let's all read it again!

The problem was that these two people could not stop talking.  Myself and the other person in the group had a really tough time trying to say anything.  And then one of the times I mentioned something, those 2 ppl blew it off, and then came back to it 5 minutes later very excited about the idea. gah!

If I had a dollar every time I've written "00" instead of "01," I'd be rich.  It's just that the number 2000 is big...and rooound...

 

2.13.01

So I play this game Counter-Strike. You can hit certain keys and send radio messages.  For example: Go go go!, Stick together team! and my favorite, Storm the Front!  No one ever uses these radio messages seriously in the game.   
But that's not all.  I was going through the CS directory listening to the radio messages, until I heard this one.  Flank them! Why is that guy's voice different from all the rest? And why each time I hear it does it sounds super fruity? That's not a problem though. I think it's great. What really bothers me is that all the other sounds are not fruity enough.

That paper clip in MicroSoft Office keeps hitting on me. I'll be typing my paper, minding my own business, when he slyly raises his eyebrows at me.

 

1.20.01

Never in my life have I found an animal cracker that looks close to an animal.  Barnam's Animal crackers are pretty close...but when I become rich, I'm going to start a company that makes nothing but the highest quality animal crackers.

1.15.01 

I wonder how guys feel at clubs when the DJ starts spinning a song about how guys are just trying to get play, or are dogs, or something to that effect.  They're out there dancing, trying to impress, and then a song comes on with the lyrics "Passing out those friendly licks, here boy, go fetch a stick..."

1.03.01

I've found the best way to get rid of hiccups is by drinking a glass of water from the opposite of the glass while upside down.  This is good, because for some odd reason hiccups hurt.

12.31.00

[Owen, moves the mouse on his computer, which Jocelyn is sitting at. ]
[The password menu pops up.]
Owen: Can you guess my password?
Jocelyn: Ummm..."Owen is smelly!" [Jocelyn types in "owenissmelly."  It is denied.]
Jocelyn: "piglet?" "owen?" " booga?" [Jocelyn types in "piglet," "owen," and "booga," each is entry denied.]
[Owen hits enter and the password menu clears.]
Owen: I don't have a password.

12.13.00

Oh god, XWinds has talking ads now. Stop the madness.

Don't give hamsters peanut M&Ms.  It'll be funny when they're chasing the M&M trying to eat it, but they _can_ swallow it and put it in one of their side pouches. You'll have to shake him to get him to spit the M&M out, which'll be white.

12.12.00

A pentagram and a reindeer laughing.  You figure it out.

12.11.00

Whenever you visit camarades.com, a banner ad's worth of pictures pops up.  This I have no problem with. It's just that the default picture is of someone's two eyeballs.  It's weird and spooky.
But not as disturbing as licking someone's eyeball.

12.8.00

Rules for a Girl Name for the Internet SuperHighway

Pick one of these to start or end your name with:
bitch, lady, Miss, grrrl (gurl, girl), princess, sweet, sexy, babe, chick, foxy, sugar, girly, pink

And one or more of these:
angel, kitten, Ivy, dream, star, devil, doll, missy, bunny, fox, flower (rose, daisy, tigerlily, etc.), vixen, wench, butterfly, kisses

Thus, you have names like "ButterflyBabe" and "MissFoxyPinkRoseKittenWenchGrrrl"

Don't forget to liberally use the caps lock key and symbols a lot. Example: from  "ButterflyBabe" to "~*bUtTeRFlyBaBE*~"  Feel free to add in any extra words that pertain to what you're doing. Example: If you're a Pyro in a game, you can be PyroPrincess.  In games, you will want to use "bitch" and "grrrl" rather than "babe" or "lady" help to show that you're hardcore."Techco (tekno, tek)" and "Devil" are also good add-ons for game playing.

 

11.28.00

There's some chicks who show up at the gym who show up in booty pants and tight white shirts.  They usually get funny looks, but sometimes a runner guy will go talk to them. Still. I know those things can't be fun to run in. In any case they walk a lap or two and if they're not getting action, they take off.

You want to know why I sometimes keep my still webcam off and turn the streaming on? Because some people save the goofy pictures of me and then taunt me with them later. Yeah, just wait til you get a webcam chummer... =)

Blowing all the fuses in my room, ming's room, and the bathroom while trying to cook a hot dog in the microwave sucks. 

 

11.17.00

I'd be a horrible Nature show voice-over. [Polar bear eats baby seal] "Noooooo. That baby seal was too cute to die..." =(

I couldn't play a really nice violin.  Why?  A really nice violin == hundreds of thousands of dollars.  I can't imagine the guilt I would feel if I ever managed to damage it somehow.  My bow is worth a little under a grand, ...but that doesn't stop me from poking people with it. Maybe I could get used to having a superb instrument worth beaucoup bucks...nah.  Not a music major.  I'd feel guilty about it laying about without playing it alla time.

I used to enjoy pushing people into moats...still do!

10.8.00

Microsoft sucks. bigtime.  I really liked MSVC, and I still like their debugger...but!  There's a C++ code standard so that any company that makes a compiler will have to follow these rules so that it's much easier to port your code to a different complier, and it would work the same.  MS decided to NOT follow these rules.  grrrr.  I lost an hour trying to figure out why my proggie would work in Visual C++ and not work in g++. 
For those of you who are c++ knowledgeable, be careful when dealing with the end-of-file character in MS. In MS, once the last character is pulled, the eof flag is automatically set.  This is not the standard.  It should be set when the last character is tested and found to be an eof. grrrr again.

One of the things I don't understand - when some music is translated for piano, why someone has to mess it up.  It sometimes doesn't sound the same as the song on the radio.  My old piano teacher said that it was creative license. bah. Last time I buy pop music for the piano.  And I was so looking forward to playing Santana for everyone to hear.

6.11.00

Nail polish costs $2 to $20.  And you can only use half the bottle. The brush used for painting only reaches roughly halfway down into the bottle. sneaky.

Being unusual, or being called "different,"  is very much overrated.

Young hackers.  Yeah, it's impressive when you ask me what ISP I use, then talk about how you could program virii and punters.  Using Visual Basic, I might add.  

 

5.20.00

You can so tell a typical chick's site...they have about 10 animated mice, rabbits, with some misc. stuff  like smiling computers thrown on the main page.  If you're unlucky, you get hit with some MIDI music from the A-Team, or some other song that sounds like it's been frapped in a blender and is now oozing out of your speakers. The pages must also use at least 5 colors for text per page, and at least 3 different fonts. The cuteish pages do have a ton of pictures though, which is what everyone wants to look at anyway. I leave you with some advice from one of these such pages:  "If you don’t practice you suck major, unless you are one of
those idiot savants… that would be cool." I can't do anything more than just shake my head at that.

If you think about it, you really don't need your pinky. You need your thumb, not that last digit on your hand. I mean, cartoons almost never have the 4th finger (the humanish ones, that is), and they manage perfectly fine.

Do not! Use exclamations for almost every sentence! It's weird to read! Like you're amazingly excited about everything!

I wonder how the guy who did the voice for those Talking Dictionaries felt when he had to say bad words.

5.05.00

Runners are supposed to run against traffic. If there is no car on the other lane, and the car is coming towards the runner, you, the driver of that car, get on the far side of the road.  A car almost hit me today.  I had a ditch on my left side.  Good thing I didn't get pushed into the ditch, cause then there would've been trouble. 

4.27.00

Networking computers is neat.  You can play games and such. It's also a good idea to position your monitor so that you can look at the other person's screen.  But don't stare too long at the other person's monitor, because they might run up behind you and punch you, making you dead, and then steal your pants and apples.  

My fan on for my processor stopped working for a bit yesterday.  It's amazing that my computer didn't explode in a buttery ball of flame. Say, time for my protein shake.  

Any game in which your character can run around pantsless is good enough for me.  If you can kill someone by punching them while pantsless, the game gets added to the shopping list.

4.24.00

Here's more stuff that I ripped off from somewhere:
I wish I lied better; I wish I didn't have to
I wish I'd live forever; I wish I never got bored
I wish we'd stop arguing; I wish you'd admit I'm right
I wish I could do what I wanted; I wish I knew what I wanted.    
I wish I spoke more languages; I wish everyone understood me
I wish I could fly; I wish I were more grounded
I wish I had my cake; I wish my cake wasn't 90% sugar.

4.1.00

Don't wear LA Lights and go t.p.ing.

3.27.00

Good Idea: 2 CDs in a stereo.  I've put one CD atop another in my little Boom box, which just results in it surprising me when it starts up with Show Me the Meaning from the BSB instead of Bad Religion's 21st Digital Boy, but it's good for a laugh. 
Bad Idea: 2 CDs in a CD ROM. I just did this, and it runs it about 48x, so it usually buzzes when it starts up; bzzzzzzzzrrrrr.  As of 7 minutes ago, it sounded like this; HKKKKKBBBBRRRZZZZZZZBZZBZZZBZZCHHHKKK - at this point I punched the eject button and found 2 CDs in there.  I normally wouldn't warn you guys about this, but an EECS guy who's going for his P.h.D told me that a CD ROM that goes over 40x could pop out a CD that if the CD hit, say, your leg, you could kiss your leg good-bye.  I wouldn't want any one losing an appendage to computer equipment, so be careful out there.  This also woke up my roommate. whoops.  

3.20.00

How about scanning your cute little files before sending them to other people, eh?  The good part is is that when I saw that something was infected, and Norton had to QUARANTINE it.  That's one of the best words of all time, I swear.

Owen brought this up at one point...ever wonder how long those people who are really into Metallica are going to last?  They listen to the music, wear the shirts, and it's all DEATH DEATH DEATH.  

 

Here's a really mad crazy idea from that pat that goes here.  First off, the UFOs that you see buzzing around are real, they're from the future.  And the aliens? Well, something's going to happen to the earth, and only islands will be saved, i.e. Japan. SO, the japanese will evidently turn into aliens. "Their eyes!" I dunno...ask him what he smokes.

 

3.15.00

POWDERED WATER. Just add water! Great storage abilities! Can I get an amen?

I think my computer's sick....seeing how MS Office crashes every 3 minutes (seriously. it sucks.) and I can't get C++ to reinstall. The saying "Virus detected!....whoops, that's just Microsoft's Code" comes to mind.

So you get anti-virus software, and the minute it finds something, a HUGE TYE-DYED 3D SPIDER shows up on your screen. I was more scared of that spider than I was of getting my files messed with. Sweet Jesus. What were those Norton guys smokin that day? By the way, this happened to my little computer, Leroy, not this beeg one.

3.14.00

If you're a hostile person at all, do NOT, ever, EVER, put red shades on. The ones that are tainted pink are ok. Red ones, though...I'm at Urban Outfitters, trying on sun glasses, when I put the red lenses ones on. Whoa. Your whole world turns blood red, and lemme just say it's a good thing I took off them right off, because I was about ready to go postal. And I'm not that hostile t'all. This reaction may spawn from watching too many movies / video games.

 

Anyone else notice all the books that are coming out about how-to-court-someone? Have we grown that primative that we need all these books to tell us what to do? And who's buying them anyway? Tape a rose to a door and you're on your way to a beauitful friendship. nuff said.

 

My computer is called "Equinox", or "Quin" for short, because the name just reaks of power. My printer is also named, but my monitor is _not_ named, because it is seen as a part of Equinox. Also, you can name your Hard Drives, but they should not be referred to as a separate idenity, as they are seen as a part of the main system as well.

 

Having a beeg tower does not mean your computer is any better than someone with a mid-sized. It _does_ make you look really cool though when people walk are in and are like "wow, nice computer!" It's even more impressive if you leave the covering off so that they can see the wires inside. It makes you l337. doodz!

 

I hear that interesting things happen when you microwave an egg.

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